Hey-yo! Ready to hear about my frozen embryo transfer (FET)? Of COURSE you are…why else would you be here?

Well…it was easy. The most difficult part was having to fill and maintain a full bladder long enough for the transfer to take place, since your bladder needs to be full to show everything properly on the ultrasound. They suggest 24-36 ounces, so I filled up my biggest water bottle up to 24 ounces and started to drink it about 30 minutes before the procedure was to take place. They “claim” that liquid takes 40 minutes to hit your bladder. I suspect it’s less than that for me.

I drank 3/4ths of it, the technician came in and pronounced my bladder “halfway there”. Drat! I finished off the bottle. Meanwhile, I was stuck all over with acupuncture needles like a porcupine. Josh took an assortment of deeply unflattering photos, none of which I deemed worthy to post. I was wearing thick REI socks (warm feet, warm uterus, they say), my fattest fat pants, and my “I DON’T DO EARTH TONES” tee-shirt. No make-up, no perfume, nothing scented at all…apparently embryos don’t like fragrance!

The embryologist came in with a photo of our little frozen embryo, which I thought was hysterical (and unexpected). She was really excited about the quality, which she told us all about in lengthy medical terms. She said he was better than textbook! Awwwwriiiiite! I told Josh to text the photo to my mother, just for kicks. Then yesterday I texted my father the picture too. “Here’s a picture of your grandson” I wrote.

My bladder was feeling very full by the time the acupuncturist pulled the needles out, and when the technician pressed the ultrasound wand on my bladder again it was THERE. The doc showed up–I had never met him before but he seemed like a nice fellow–he did a “test run” with an empty catheter to make sure that everything was a go, and then the embryologist sucked our little embryo up into a catheter tube, the tube went inside me, and then the embryo was inside me!

You have the “fun” of observing all of this on a giant tv screen on the wall, but it’s not as much fun because your bladder is SO FULL. The moment I had the OK I sprang off the table and ran to the bathroom. Without the acupuncture before (and also after), the entire transfer took 10 minutes, tops. Easy peasy.

For two or three days post-transfer you are advised to “take it easy”–not strictly bedrest, per say…but no running, vigorous exercise. No hot baths (I haven’t taken a bath in years, that wasn’t a problem). I had scoured the Internet for more tips going into this thing, such as wearing warm socks for a few days afterwards, eating pineapple core and Brazil nuts (both aide the implantation), no cold drinks or foods, no caffeine (duh), even no dairy, because dairy makes your uterus “slippery” and you want it to be “sticky”.

The first day post-transfer I mostly just stayed on the couch. The second day I moved around the house, painted a little, did laundry and the usual house chores (okay just laundry), sat outside and read on the back patio with a blanket over my legs like an elderly woman. Yesterday I took the dogs for a nice slow easy walk at the dog park. Baby steps.

Flashback to the “Fashion Underground” exhibit in NYC last year, one of my favorite outfits.

So how do I feel? Exactly the same. It’s not like morning sickness hits right away–it takes weeks to develop, and maybe for me it never will. They say with boy babies you are less likely to have it. I’ve got highhhhh hopes!

Deepak Chopra in an interesting documentary about influential baby boomers.

The only side effects I’m having are from the progesterone suppositories I started taking twice a day a week ago. Unfortunately, you have to continue taking them for 10-12 weeks (!), and they do make me feel a little crampy. What else is new?

A study done recently apparently has proven that dogs don’t really like to be hugged by humans…but I’M NOT LISTENING!

Look, it’s brunette Norma Jean aka Marilyn Monroe, with a dog. Arf arf.

I have now (more or less) completed two of the Broad’s cat paintings, and am ready to move on to the final one. “You must really love my kitties if you’re finishing the paintings this fast!” she teased me over the phone yesterday. Of COURSE that’s the reason! Also: the canvas size is small. Also: I am eager to start a big project for the guest room. I think we’re going to see “Keanu” with the Broad later today, matter of fact. The preview looks hilarious!

Yesterday at the dog park we met this adorable fluffy black Pomeranian who looked like a tiny version of Bear Cub! I was DYING!

It was good to get out of the house yesterday. “Bed rest” isn’t a lot of fun when you feel just fine!

I posted our sad orchid on IG to ask the orchid lovers if there was any hope for it. “Leave it alone, mine looked like that!” someone wrote helpfully. Oh good.

Reading Tom Robbins on the back patio with Maggie dog lurking in the background. I love ya, Tom Robbins.

So now we get to play the Waiting Game, waiting for my next appointment at the clinic for a blood test to verify that baby is, in fact, still on board. That will take place this Saturday. Unlike a home pregnancy test (which they discourage you from taking this early in the game), you have to get your blood drawn, and then wait a couple of HOURS before you know if you’re actually pregnant! Yarg! I told Josh that we needed to do something fun, and distracting. Like maybe visit that chocolate factory in Fremont I’ve heard so much about! Mmmmmm, chocolate.