Hi kids. Here we are, on the eve of my very first IVF transfer. Can you believe it?! What a loooooong-ass journey it’s been!

Went off the Pill in 2009; started the pill in 1997. 1997!!! OVER TEN YEARS of making damn sure I took that Pill every night. Obsessive about condom use (bonus: never had any STDs).

Started going to fertility doctors in…2012? 2011? Who can even remember any more. Diagnosed husband with decreased motility. Never diagnosed me with anything, except a couple of uterine polyps this year, which were quickly removed.

Six rounds of Clomid. Three IUIs. And now…two frozen embryos that passed all of the rigorous testing we paid extra for. Two boys!

One of those boys will be transferred into my bod, tomorrow afternoon. I will have acupuncture before, and after the transfer (which is only supposed to take 10 minutes–it is mercifully short and sweet).

Then I have 48 hours of enforced “bed” rest (more like couch rest), which…I am kind of looking forward to. I have been commuting hither and thither for work the last couple of weeks (which has been a blessing! Don’t get me wrong!). But a couple of days NOT commuting two hours on the I5 will be awfully nice. Josh is taking the day off from work tomorrow, to drive me to the appointment and back home.

And then for the rest of the day I can boss him around! YES! MY FAVORITE!

Friday after my ultrasound appointment, I met up with my old old old friend Christy at the Bellevue Mall. Neither one of us really wanted to go to the mall, but I really wanted to look at some girly perfume-y things and the closest Sephora was at the mall. Heigh ho!

Neither one of us bought anything at Sephora, amazingly. I used up my gift card already and couldn’t bring myself to pay 50 clams for the grapefruit perfume by “Fresh” that I really really really want.

We bought some overpriced mall food (I paid 12 bucks for a tiny Cobb salad) and then it was my idea to wander across the street to a nice-looking park, where we strolled around and gabbed. Christy is freshly married, freshly diagnosed with a thyroid issue and is ready to be freshly pregnant this year too, just like me. We are both old ladies.

I teased her that she’ll probably get pregnant as soon as she starts trying, but who can say? You never know with these things. The wonders of the human body.

My sentimental fave on this season of “Drag Race”, Thorgy Thor, was kicked off last week! Good thing my OTHER fave Bob the Drag Queen is still going strong.

Speaking of which, this week’s episode was one of my favorites in “Drag Race” HERstory…David AND Amy Sedaris as guest judges, a musical where all the queens had to dress up as Jerri Blank (!!!) AND THEN everyone got to watch Bob lip sync to Sylvester’s “Mighty Real”! I tell ya, the tears of joy were just about springing to ma eyes! Just about.

Also recently watched: “Respectable: The Mary Millington Story”, about a pint-sized porn star from the UK and her tragic demise. These fertility hormones are doing weird things to me, friends! I’m following Mickey Avalon on Twitter! What???

Here I am on Sunday pouting over my last full cup of REAL coffee. Mind you, I’ve had a little decaf since then, but ohhhhh coffeeeeee I miss you soooooooo. I’ll probably end up deleting this off of my IG. Triggering! 

Sunday I re-made Josh’s birthday cupcakes with yellow butter cake mix AND buttercream frosting AND piled them high with green and blue sprinkles (and glitter candles too) and everyone at his work loved them. Success!

Recently completed book: “Bonkers”, Jennifer Saunders’ memoir. A little dry, but ya know. Still love you, Jennifer. “French and Saunders, doo doo doo dee doooo…”

Recently I received one of those scammy e-mails where someone offers to buy a bunch of my paintings but they really just want to steal all my monies. REPORTED! Losers.

Currently a couple of damp dogs are snoozing at my feet as I type this. Our once-a-month housekeeper is over, cleaning. I requested her early. I wanted a nice clean house to relax in tomorrow. Who can relax in a dirty, fur-covered house? Not me, Hank McGee.

Some deep purple-red tulips Joshy planted in the front yard. Niiiiice.

Love these neon purple “Bachelor’s Buttons”, too.

One perk of working downtown: art spotting while sitting in gridlock traffic.

Currently reading: “Not That Kind of Girl”, by Lena Dunham. I suspect I would have liked it a lot better if I was, say, 16, but I’m not sorry I’m reading it now. The illustrations are cute.

Our new neighbors are methodically tearing up all the grass in their front yard, and replacing it with dirt and evenly-spaced clumps of flowers. Oh, it’s a “look”, alright. Could be worse, I suppose. Could be wood chips! Or rocks!

Hey! Just think, the next time I blog I might be knocked up! Catch yer later, blog-logs! And send happy baby vibes my way, please.