When we first pulled into the park, we were the only people/dogs there. Until I looked in my rearview mirror and saw the Fun Police, aka Animal Control, parked directly behind me. DAMMIT! I pulled the dogs out of the car ON the leash…and they just about pulled my arm out of the socket when they simultaneously spotted a rabbit hopping around and TOOK OFF, forgetting that they were attached to a slow, plodding Mommy (who was talking on the phone).

Around the mid-point of the park there is a hill, and the maintenance guy always told me that Animal Control doesn’t venture out that far, so it was okay to have dogs off-leash in that portion of the park. WRONG. Not even 10 seconds after I let them off the leash I heard “MA’AM!” and there she was in all of her butch, Animal Control glory. She had been following me.

“Your dogs need to be on the leash, ma’am, otherwise you’ll get a ticket.”

“Okay,” I called back, and leashed my animals. By gum, we walked around the park by the law! Talk about boring. On the way back to my car she stopped me as I walked by her van.

“Your dogs need to be leashed,” she said.

“I know, I know…” I waved my hand. It was hot, and I was out of excuses.

She went on to tell me that it was “in the works” that a new dog park would be opening soon in this area, but she didn’t have any details. I told her that I always tell people to go to the off-leash dog park, about 15 minutes away. She hadn’t even heard of it. She also went on to tell me that the park we were at would never be an off-leash dog park, because of wet lands regulations. Damn wet lands! Always ruining my fun.

She said that she never tickets first, always gives a warning, but I know that’s bullshit because I saw her ticket a sad old couple one day who were just letting their poodle have a little run. She said that she would ticket me next time, although she’d actually warned me before (of course, I didn’t remind her of this fact). She also gave me a little plastic bone-shaped doggy poop sack holder. How thoughtful! Well, it could have been worse. She could have definitely given me a ticket, and once again, I escaped. I escaped 500 dollars worth of tickets. Luckyyyyyy.

Hey Thursday, what’s the haps? I’m trying to do a low-carb diet and failing majestically. I’m currently addicted to “The Real Housewives of Orange County”, I KNOW IT’S AWFUL. After weeks of meticulously searching for the perfect glitter heels to match the dress I’ll be wearing next month as maid-of-honor and FINALLY nailing the perfect shoes and ordering them, I get a text message from my future sister-in-law telling me that she wants us to wear black flats to the wedding, UGH. I mean, control the dress all you want, sister, but now you’re in control of my footwear? DOUBLE UGH. I might rebel with a tiny wedge. Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone.