If you stopped by this blog yesterday you may notice that something is missing–the post celebrating my husband’s giant ass, featuring a photo of said giant ass resplendent in Andrew Christian striped undies. He forced me to remove it last night, after whining repeatedly. That’s right, he STIFLED MY CREATIVITY. In return, he offered to remove a hideously unflattering portrait of me that he had put on Facebook where I look 90 years old, so I guess we’re even.

“You shouldn’t be ashamed of your ass!” I pleaded with him last night, to no avail. FINE. You can still see it on my Instagram account, @artwaif.

What’s happening, Wednesday? I’m 95.6666% sure I’m getting a cold now. Flu last week; cold this week. Lame-o. We are NOT celebrating Valentine’s Day this year (we never do), but sometimes we celebrate February 13th, since that was the date that Bubble Butt proposed to me back in 2008. You know, like a nice dinner. Although I don’t know if that’s happening. More like bunless burgers and season 4 of Dexter. Today I was told that I walk “like an actress”. I’ll take it as a compliment.