Be careful cutting your own bangs, friends! You just may wind up with bangs like these. “Mormon bangs”, as Nico used to say. This is not the look.

Speaking of “looks”, hey look, it’s a male beauty product! The Boy bought this eye roller for his permanently puffy little eyes (see). He put in his contacts this morning for night skiing after work today, used the roller, and asked me if his eyes looked any less puffy.

“Nope,” I said, adding, “I hate to tell you this but I’m pretty sure that product is a dud.” Like so many female beauty products (“Frownies”, anyone?).

A recent trip to the library yielded these (hasty) choices. “Lindsay’s Secrets”–drivel, and where were the secrets? There’s no need for a book like this when D-Listed exists. From the Joan Crawford biography I learned that ol’ Joan slept with EVERYONE, plus a bonus chapter defending Joan against the accusations in “Mommie Dearest”, which I have yet to read. The movie is hysterical, though.

We recently enjoyed the two (short) seasons of a show called “The Book Group”, about an American woman transplanted to Scotland who starts a book group to make friends. Incredibly boring premise–incredibly funny show, featuring witty dialogue such as:

Clare Pettengill: Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Jean Pettengill: Do you fancy a cup of fuck off?

I let the Boy take my car today. My car has the snow tires, and I worried about his little car up in the mountains tonight, in the dark, for night skiing (who does night skiing??). I had no driving plans today, really. Forecast says rain, so no dog park. If I do get an “emergency” call for work I won’t be able to do it, though. I can’t drive a stick shift! Sniff, snivel, sob. My cousin Erika taught me years ago but I need to re-learn all over again. It would probably come in handy.

Today’s goals: at least one hour of continuing education. Mend a pair of the Boy’s ski pants–he always manages to tear the crotch. What do people without sewing machines do–buy new pants? Sew by hand? Pshht. Considering sewing that silver miniskirt I’ve been thinking about for ages.

Consider also: a painting project. I don’t have any clear-cut ideas right now (the skateboarder idea fizzled out), but I do have two 12 x 16 flat blank canvases BEGGING for some cuhluh.