Saturday afternoon was the Boy’s grandfather’s 90th birthday party.

I was riddled with anxiety all day–not about the party, which was great, as always (the Boy’s parents always throw flawless parties), but about my visit with Lisa after the party.

I kept myself busy that day, going out shopping with the ladies–text messaging Lisa at a discount party supply store (best idea EVER) and asking her what the kids might like for gifts.

I made the spinach dip, which has become my “thing” at the family get-togethers. It’s good to have a “thing”. Especially when it’s really easy (using the recipe on the back of the Knorr vegetable soup packet, if you wanna know my secret), and also gets a ton of compliments.

Then the Boy and I took the rogs for a walk–he had already gone for a run with his sister that morning but I needed him to exercise me, too. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: nothing beats sweaty cardio to ease anxiety.

And how lucky is my husband, in his late-ish 30s, to have all four grandparents still alive? I live vicariously through him. I love his grandparents, all four of them.

Since the Boy doesn’t get Thanksgiving off this year and we’ll be visiting my parents for Christmas, this is the last time we’re going to see this side of the family for a while.

Had to get a shot of the outfit in, embarrassing mirror portrait or not. I wore a beautiful floral cowl-necked sleeveless dress I bought the last time I was in Boise with an acid-green cardigan and gold flats. The dress is as soft and comfortable as a nightgown. Comfort clothes are good when you are stressed out. Spanx + stress = no thanks.

Sign courtesy of Brenna and the kids…I assume!

The 90-year-old birthday boy in green, next to Lew, the Boy’s other grandfather, who is in his 80’s and still skis.

Lisa requested that I stay overnight with her so as I packed up my overnight bag the Boy packed up a bunch of food from the party to take over to Lisa and the kids. I had him drop me off because I was too nervous to drive. A crumble of Xanax took the edge off. Listening to reggae music on the way over helped as well.

In the end, I’m very grateful for the visit. I came bearing gifts: a purple wig for Sadie, purple and pink fairy wings for Aurora, and a scary mask for Orion and a bunch of tubes of glitter face paint for Lisa (per her request).

Lisa and the kids ate the food we brought and then Sadie, Aurora and I entered a crazy Girl Vortex of glitter, wigs, and snapping photos for an indeterminate amount of time, which as you know, is MY FAVORITE THING TO DO.

I managed to get about 15 minutes of talk time with Lisa, which is about as much as a woman with 3 small children is allowed. We hugged and watched a slide show she was putting together of Zane. I felt like I didn’t know what to say and I felt like I didn’t say enough. Before we left town I wrote her a handwritten card about all the feelings I’d had about Zane’s passing and put it in the mail. Sometimes words flow better on paper than in real life.

The kid suffering the most right now is Orion–getting him to bed took hours and getting him to his grandmother’s house in the morning was a whole new battle. I feel so bad for him.

Luckily, Sadie is handling the situation amazingly well and I’m glad she’s old enough to help her mother. Lisa’s an incredibly strong woman and I know she’ll get through this time. I feel very sad about Zane but comforted that I visited Lisa and the kids–they know how much I care about them, and nothing shows that you care like a visit, a talk and hugs. Oh, a little glitter and wigs never hurts, either.