This morning in my head, inexplicably, is the INXS song “Disappear”.

You’re so fine
Lose my mind
And the world seems to disappear
All the problems, all the fears
And the world seems to disappear

Man did I ever think Michael Hutchence was hot in the 90s. Like a modern-day Jim Morrison (almost). And remember when he was dating Helena Christensen? Ooooh! I had the biggest crush on her as well. Remember how hot she was in “Wicked Game“? Holy crap! I was glued to the screen!

Yesterday at the park a garter snake slithered around on the ground in front of me and right after I tried capturing it with the camera (not quick enough) I noticed Maggie flopping around on the ground violently, and then gobbling up something long, black, and snake-like (see above photo). Doesn’t she look guilty here? What a gross little animal!

Yesterday Corinne called to tell me that her teeth had been hurting so much she actually overdosed on over-the-counter pain meds.

“How do you know you overdosed?” I asked.

I was driving in the car while talking to her on the phone (illegal! illegal!), so I thought she replied, “My ears turned green“, which made me extremely confused for a few seconds, until I realized she said “My ears kept ringing.”. Good old tinnitus!

She called her drug-pushing dentist who made her an appointment for this afternoon and wrote her a prescription for ten Vicodin to “tide her over” in the meantime. Ten.

After she filled me in on the status of her mouth pain I filled her in on my current ailments, which include: a dry/tight throat for the past two months, middle back pain, and left knee pain (just yesterday–today the knee seems fine–hooray for marrying an occupational therapist who can fix me).

“Holy shit,” she said. “Do you know what’s happened here? We’re OLD. We’re talking about our aches and pains! When did this happen?”

Indeed! Baaaarely into our 30s and already on the cusp of organ failure. Thank goodness we’re still cute!

My sister-in-law’s beautiful bleeding heart.

I had a little babysitting session yesterday with the ever-delightful Ronia, and then the girls and I went over to see Corinne and her tinnitus and met her roommate’s new dog. Of course I forgot to take pictures. The three animals got along nicely, and then the five of us went for a walk around Corinne’s neighborhood. It was surreal to watch Corinne walking a dog! Yanking on the leash the whole time, grumbling, “Heel…heel…you little shit…”

When I arrived at her house, an entire SWAT team had assembled in front of her neighbor’s house–directly across from Corinne’s. Their front doors are a mere few feet apart. A whole team of muscular, tattooed mens standing there in the sunshine, and me and my “Drag is the Drug” tee-shirt on. Corinne was inside doing her hair and make-up for the SWAT team before she went and checked her laundry. We never did find out why the SWAT team had broken down her neighbor’s front door, but we definitely gawked inside and it looked really nice. Hardwood floors, minimalistic with nice shit. Hmmm…the mystery, the mystery.

This isn’t the first time the cops have raided that house, either. Next time Corinne: push-up bra and false eyelashes! Some of those dudes were hot!