Blog! My serotonin is finally flowing again after a few weeks’ absence so this seems a good time to blerg it out. This photo was taken a couple of weeks ago, during a visit from the in-laws for Father’s Day. Josh and baby and I were on our way to a BBQ thrown by one of his co-workers.

Unfortunately I just really overdid it that day. Fleeta, Brenna and Ronia accompanied Baby M and I to the children’s museum, where I discovered that chasing after a 17-month old is WAY more work than chasing after a 13-month old, the age he was when I last took him. A couple hours of that, and then more non-stop chasing him later that evening at the BBQ, and BLAMMO I woke up the next morning to take the dogs for a stress-relieving walk (ha!) and threw my back out. BIG TIME.

But it was still Father’s Day! And there were obligations! Josh, who has been hobbling around since May with hamstring tendinitis, managed to get it together to make two pies for the BBQ and rhubarb coffee cake on Father’s Day. Look at him in the kitchen, wearing the apron I bought him for Father’s Day. Mawwww.

These photos are out of sequence. Here are some scary clown dolls at the thrift store we went to before going to the children’s museum. I bought Goo some dino swim trunks and a little plastic guitar at the thrift store.

Here I am on a yoga mat on Father’s Day, trying to relieve my back pain. We went very far away to Mike and Darla’s new house for a Father’s Day BBQ, which I’m sure would have been 98% more fun if Josh wasn’t using a cane and I could bend over without pain. For cryin’ out loud! Getting old is AWESOME! (sob)

And then what did we do after the BBQ at the new house? We went to a Violent Femmes show! I have no photo proof on Flickr, just the 50 pictures or so I took of the show. I had it in my mind that I went to a VF concert in the late 90s, but none of my friends would say they’d gone.

“I thought I went to two Depeche Mode concerts,” Jerry told me at the BBQ. “Turns out, they were just dreams.

I sat upright on a blanket on the ground leaning my back against Josh for support, Josh sat in the one tall camping chair we own, and we ROCKED OUT TO THE FEMMES! Sitting down! At the Woodland Park Zoo! Like geriatrics!

During the encore I made my way to the front of the stage to snap closer pictures of Gordon Gano (my crush) and when they played “Add It Up”, I danced, baby! I tried. I need one of those tee-shirts that says, “Mama Tried“.

So. That Monday I called in sick to work, because my back was completely out and I had gotten about three hours of sleep. That night, M. came down with a fever of 103 degrees and I had to take off another day of work to take him to the pediatrician! My sweet Goo had a gnarly virus! Whether it was from the thrift shop, or the children’s museum, or life, we’ll never know.

Suddenly at work during all this back throwing out and baby illness my caseload tripled, and quadrupled. STRESS STRESS STRESS.

Anxiety brain came back, and you know, I have worked so hard in my life to beat Anxiety Brain. It’s the worst. Then with anxiety brain, came the return of the pelvic floor issue I had beaten back in February.

So…I went back on the amitrypitiline. Started doing my physical therapy again. Increased my Trazodone dosage at night, because sleep was getting bad again. With sleep deprivation comes more anxiety brain. Terrible cycle.

Wait, it gets better! And by better I mean worse. Because last week, Goo came down with “Hand, Foot and Mouth” disease! Oh yeah!

Involving a fever for a day, and then a week or more of a gross pimply rash on his mouth, feet and hands. Sometimes, quote the Internet, the nails actually FALL OFF. That hasn’t happened, yet.

June was brutal. Now here we are in July, and it’s all getting a little better. I’m sleeping better, my pelvic floor issue is tamer, Josh is no longer using a cane, and best of all, baby is still a little rashy but his appetite is back. His energy is back. He dropped his afternoon nap, and I don’t even care because my baby isn’t sick any more!

Funny how that works…my happiness being totally dependent on the health of my family.

Especially this sweet little dude.

Sometimes when we play in the basement I put on classic episodes of “In Living Color”. He’s not really into it, but some day I’m sure he’ll appreciate the Fly Girls!

He likes me to wear ALL the sunglasses, and styled me like this.

Here are some things that helped me with Anxiety Brain this past few weeks: flowers. Being outdoors. Walking the dogs. Petting the dogs. The dogs.

Play time with my son, during which I’m striving to stay off the phone and BE ENGAGED.

“Auntie Mame”–100% therapeutic.

Also: Dole Whip and funny stand-up on Netflix!

Tomorrow we have an early morning appointment with the fertility doctor to discuss baby number two!

I don’t plan on getting pregnant until next January at least, but 2018 is going to fly by. It already has. Time moves so much faster when you are a parent.

Sunday night Goo-age was feeling well enough to go out to watch Josh get a haircut and then Thai food afterwards. My appetite dropped drastically during the last couple of weeks but is starting to come back.

The Endless Summer hydrangea, every year more and more blooms.

As I’m writing this, it’s currently the 4th of July. Josh and I both worked short days today, and then we had (burnt) sausages, black beans and watermelon for dinner, followed by sparklers at 6:30 for baby to enjoy before his bedtime.

I drugged the dogs an hour and a half ago, and they are in the room with me now. Unhappy, but too sleepy to be frantic.

Cutie Goo.

I took Bear Cub to the park earlier this week and a group of children fell in love with her. They all wanted to take selfies with her! All these children had cell phones! I asked them how old they were when they got them, and the general answer was EIGHT. Lord help me.

Goo and me today.

Happy 4th of July!